Master of Disguise

Easy to mask depression when you are a man after all boys should not cry! Let’s go out with the boys, let’s drink, let’s be passionate about soccer, let’s find the thrill of being with different women, let’s dive into work, but in reality let’s mask the pain of life!

Men have been taught; toughen up you are a boy, plus no one likes a sissy boy or a cry baby you have to man up! In all my years of living not once have I seen my dad shed a tear, through death, through sickness through the most traumatic situations he holds it together like a “real man”.

My question is where does the hurt go? Does it magically go away?  And my answer is from a quote by Tamara Kulish and it says ‘If you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you’. I have seen men bleeding on the ones they love simply because they haven’t healed. Not only that suicide and depression rates are much higher for men than they are for women.

Women are generally more vocal with their pain, at church crying during worship, at restaurants girls crying is acceptable, on social media venting, bathrooms breaks are for crying its acceptable for a woman to let it go but what about a man where does his hurt go?

In 2021 I tried to strengthen myself against depression and anxiety by all tools I could find. My social media is full of quotes and inspiration I even have games on my phone to reduce anxiety (I took it overboard I know!) From all my research on depression and anxiety here are three tips to any man that wants to process their hurt.

1. Find a healthy coping mechanism- exercise was rated as one of the best! Could be a hobby, church, sport, reading just anything healthy!

2.  Have a support system- men don’t like drama and relationships often come with drama find people whose drama you can handle, just have people to talk to it makes everything better.

3. Learn to control your mind- tame your mind because your thoughts control you.

I am writing this post just as an encouragement to those men looking at the new year with baited breath already dealing with so much on their plate and wondering how to heal their hearts and be the successful man they want to be.

I would like to validate you as you take steps into 2022.  You are actually amazing , screw what society has said, screw where you thought you would be right now, screw the things that you put effort in and didn’t work out, screw the mistakes, screw the family expectations, let go of the things you bled on . Remember you can come out of anything, you can recreate yourself and you are already amazing! Take dominion of your mind and rise above in 2022.

Leap into 2022

A special thank you to Nyasha who requested this post hoping its helpful to all the men who are going through the most and trying to disguise their pain may you find the strength to rise above and heal your wounds. Please share this post and I love to hear your thoughts and comment below.

Written By Nesu Musa

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11 Comments Add yours

  1. Kurai says:

    “…screw where you thought you would be right now…”

    This hit home

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Peter says:

      Thanks Nesu…i needed this.

      Like

  2. dianamudz says:

    wow. l like the part which says you will bleed on those who did not cut you… will definitely share

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Elshaddai Mahuda says:

    This is so real and these norms should be changed because they are very harmful to the society. Men are human beings as well..
    #itsoktocry
    #itsoktobeemotional

    Like

    1. Nesu.Musa says:

      Hundred percent hey♡

      Like

  4. Don Panashe Musa says:

    “where does the hurt go?” Good question. I’ll look into this myself. Thanks for the post!

    Like

  5. Tinotenda says:

    Thank you soo much
    Really Needed this

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nesu.Musa says:

      Most welcome Tino

      Like

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